Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Back in the States

A random list of things I've been thinking my second day back home:

1. I feel weird when I throw my toilet paper in the toilet. "Really?" I think. "It won't back up?"
2. I picked up with my friends right where I left on ten months ago. True friends are like that.
3. I woke up today after having slept poorly on a extra-thick, fancy double bed. I'm use to the thin, cheap mattress in Chile. I remember in high school thinking I had this really small room. I longed for more space. I woke up today thinking, wow, my room is huge...and wow, I was super spoiled in high school.
4. I am rich. My parents are rich. Everyone in California is rich. No one has any idea that they are. Ridiculously rich. But I know it doesn't feel like it here. But it's true.
5. I love bagels and donuts and hash browns. I missed them.
6. I miss Pollo and Lua and Kanke.

I have three months to accomplish a few important things. Make sure my cats are healthy and glowing. Get an awesome North American haircut. Say hi to all my friends and family.

And get rid of my stuff that is being stored in the garage. I went through two boxes yesterday. I was so happy to see more of my stuff: pens, my printer, more clothes. I was having trouble letting go of these things when I realized that I haven't needed, wanted, or even thought of any of these things for 10 months (okay, i thought about my printer a little--it's awesome).

But really, I don't need any of it. When I lived in Pleasanton, as a way of trying to save money and resist the urge to buy, buy, buy, I remember thinking, "I don't need to worry. I'll accumulate more stuff the longer I stay here." This was a comforting thought to me.

How things have changed. I am now comforted by the thought that I don't need any of this stuff. I have always liked the feeling of getting rid of things that I haven't been using, of letting go. I understand better now why. In yoga, they teach you to learn to disengage yourself from your things, to recognize the power the material goods have over you, and in recognizing, learning when it's time to let go. And in the letting go, of your spirit being more and more free to fly.

This is my moment to recognize and to let go. It is my time to be free.

Wish me luck!

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